Sharon -ToxicSynthesis-

Nov. 29th, 2004

12:35 am - the rundown...

so. i left wretched syracuse for good ol t-town tuesday morning. heres the rundown...
tuesday i had an appointment for a hearing test before i went home. the earaches seem to be enhanced by my over-mobile eardrum and i have trouble hearing low soft tones. who doesnt?? then cheshire and i took the 4ish hour drive from the cuse to t-town. he was good after 45 minutes of piercing meows and panting like a dog. wednesday i worked at the liquor store. thank god! then we went out. and it sucked. but t-town is so uncool for going out. i saw no one good and was the dd cuz i sure as hell wasnt driving around drunk with anyone on thanksgiving eve! thanksgiving was cool. i got along with my family and had cat conversations with my aunt who never says much. i enjoyed it. my uncle mac, grandmas brother, is a priest. he said i was special...ha, they dont know shit! then i went home cuz i ate too much food. friday my mom and i hung out all day. it was super duper cool. i love hanging out with my mom. we went shopping and did girl things together. then i got a haircut. what i wanted was long layers with long bangs. but i guess it was misunderstood. i still have long hair. a little past my bra, and i got the long bangs. but i got shorter layers than i wanted and my mom thinned out my hair. well. now i have a mullet. a great looking mullet, but its still a mullet. big and poofy on the top to about my chin, and then straight and not nearly as poofy the rest of the way down...i cant wait till the thinning grows back thatll be about a year. and the short pieces need about 2-3 months to look good. thank god that wedding im in back in t-town isnt until may or something!! everyone says im exaggerating, but really its the first thing that comes to mind. im not mad, its actually kinda funny!! then saturday i worked again and went to a sex party. that was great. i spent the money that i made at work. even though i needed it...ill find some more up my ass somewhere...and then we went out again. it sucked, not as much as wed night, but it sucked. i saw tons of people i went to high school with and really only liked 4 of them or so. the rest of them i didnt bother talking to cuz why should i? we werent friends in high school. im not mean but by all means im not fake and im not going to act like i care if i dont! then i went to go home and the ghetto mobile wouldnt start. so i had melissa bring me home. sunday i woke up and mom andy and i went to get my car. no big deal, just some nasty connections to the battery. i really didnt want to deal with anything at 330 in the morning. then i left to go home. well it took me 5 hours and my left foot is gonna fall off cuz i drive stick. traffic was backed up over the worst place possible. the puke bridge! i have no problem with bridges really, but this one creeps me out. ugh, its just sooo creepy feeling. i was on that bridge stop and go for 20-30 minutes! yuck! so i talked on the phone to aubrey. and she made me forget all about the yucky bridge! then i got home and cheshire was happy. so was i. so i walk in and then i look at the fish tank. and keiths fish are yucky looking. so now i have to race against time tomorrow to try and test the water at the pet store so his fishies dont die. and then i go upstairs and jack, his gecko, is dead. what the fuck! i left the heat on in the house and it was like 68. thats what it always is. i didnt even turn it off! i guess the lesson is dont leave your gecko alone for 6 days. i even gave him crickets before i left. so now i have to pick up a dead lizard. gross. and i told keith on the phone and i was crying and sad and upset that he died and keith says. you killed my fucking lizard. i am so offended i dont know what to say. when he left for seattle he knew i was going home for tgiving. its his responsibility to take care of his animals. i checked everthing with him before i left to make sure it was alright, and jack was ok to leave like that. its not like i neglected them, but if they cant be left alone that long then tell me and ill take him with me! i dont know anything about lizards... im just appauled. i wrote aubrey a big long im about it. it really hurt me...we will see how everything is when he gets home.
i just want to go back. i dont belong here. i dont like this at all. i used to like it. i dont know how to fix it.

Current Mood:

sad

Current Music: morphine

Nov. 18th, 2004

03:07 pm

im at work/school now and im so much happier. i dont know what it is. maybe its because i get home and it reminds me of all the work i need to do to clean the place and all the things i want to do to the place but cant afford it. and i live 20 minutes away from the city so once i go home, thats usually it unless its a weekend. i wont go back to the city. not the way gas prices are now.

but i am happy i have fun here and i get work done and i guess even when it is bad ive always got my computer and phone and you guys. sounds lame. but its true!

im going to go soon and get my new glasses. ive tried to go for a little change. brown/tortiouse or however you spell that damned word, a bit thicker plastic, and not so square/but not really round. and im keeping my old glasses too. since i hate the way my contacts feel i figure i wear my glasses everyday so why not have more than one pair. it makes sense. i wear them everyday!! so i asked mom if she would get me new glasses for christmas instead of crap for the house or a gift certificate or something. i cant wait!!

and when i woke up this morning i threw away chocolate. i had to. i know its chocolate abuse. but we had one of those huge boxes of hersheys bars that you get from costco, the big ones you use for smores and there was like half the box leftover at least. and i just kept eating them. yesterday i was so whatever that i ate two chocolate bars! two! so i took the rest of them this morning and threw them away. i always wondered why i couldnt be one of those people that couldnt eat when they are stressed. i dont get that way very often. but when i do i eat and eat and eat! then it only makes me feel worse!

alright, back to work i go. i am a happy person for now. i hope it stays that way. pook and beans you make me happy. i know you guys care and that makes me smile. aubrey too!! we are so in! hahaha POOK AND BEANS!! get it!!! hahaha i just realized..hahah!

love you!

Current Mood:

happy

Current Music: frank sinatra

Nov. 17th, 2004

07:43 pm

today eh...was just another day. i faked sick for two days in a row and it was great and sucky all at the same time. now im bored...yesterday i made stockings for keith, cheshire (our cat), and myself. they came out cute, im really proud of them since im practically artistically inept. and i cleaned, and organized a little. but now, wednesday night, im bored. im looking forward to going back to school/work tomorrow. i really just want to go back to moms house. i cant wait for thanksgiving. i cant wait for sometimes i dont know why im here. sometimes i just want to cry myself to sleep. then i wake up in the morning and think how silly i was. i feel like i have multiple personalities and i dont know which one is right. the only thing that makes me happy is my cat.

keith told me the other night..."im not getting married, so if thats what you want break up with me now." i was like um alright. this was totally out of the blue. we had already had this conversation before. (of course not exactly like the above). i already knew this. the reason why he said it was because he read this book, where you look inside yourself and at your past and blah blah barf and then realize all these things. and suddenly...dump me now!!...i thought that his marriage statement was bullshit, i confronted him on it, and we got in a huge fight on the phone. of course i want to get married you jerk. you already told me you didnt want to get married. i accept that. i havent made the decision yet if youre worth giving that up for...but if you keep going on like that, my decision is much easier!!! im not ready for marriage now. im happy the way things are. and i am happy with the relationship. so leave it alone!!! if i find out 10 years from now that yeah, i do want to get married and you dont then we come to a compromise, or we part our separate ways. the only things i ever write about in here is the shitty stuff about keith and i. and i should appologize to you guys and keith. thats not fair to any of you. i never talk about the good stuff, the great stuff, etc...he really is teriffic. but we are two separate people, i guess dissagreements can only be expected.

oh, and i guess i quit smoking. having no money because youve got an enormous amount of bills to pay that you cant even afford in the first place really is a good thing. dont get me wrong. if you offer it to me ill take it. but i can no longer satisfy my pissed of urge with nicotine. its been a week and 2 days since ive had my own pack of cigarettes and i only smoked one last saturday because it was offered to me. and believe me ive never been in a situation more so than now where i need a fucking cigarette constantly hanging out of my mouth. its like my multiple personalities are my own worst enemy. argh!! and i keep getting fatter...i think im going to throw away every piece of food in this damn house because all i do is eat. i havent been this fat since sophomore year of college. and i never want to be this fat again. i repulse myself.

now i will go cry myself to sleep again tonight. why, cuz i can and for some reason i want to. i cant wait till i find out what makes me happy. purchase made me happy, but i didnt realize it then, nor can it last forever. time to grow up. either that, or its the fact that im lonely here, i need a fucking cigarette, i am taking a different birth control pill, and im not happy. i dont know what to do. i dont know what it is. but dont worry im not a crazy person. i know that this is some kind of phase that is driving me crazy.

see you all soon. i cant wait believe me!!! xoxo

Current Mood:

blah

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Nov. 15th, 2004

12:41 pm - from CNY to NYC!!

alirght! here is the dilli-o

i have made reservations at Manhattan Youth Castle. dont let them fool you. their website says they dont accept new yorkers but its not true!! the other places i wanted to stay at were all booked for saturday!! so i said fuck it i need to hurry and make reservations somewhere!

so. December 11th and 12th i have reserved a private room at Manhattan Youth Castle, or B and B Manhattan because thats where the private rooms come from. i cannot come down friday night cuz i have an obligation. but i can stay longer cuz work is dumb. but i really only have money for two nights. a park bench is an option...hehehe, jk. i know you guys will house us if we need it!

the place is on the upper east side, 1596 Lexington ave bw 101 and 102 st. its on the 6 aww.... im JLo!! and its closer to my burrow counterparts!!

http://www.youthcastle.com/
the castle site...then they link you to private rooms....so lets hope!!!

oh, and they say there is parking...again, dont let them fool you, its on the street.

if anyone wants to lend me a driveway, or a safer street side for a few days i would GREATLY appreciate it!! (PLEASE! ie...begging!!!) ill take the subway to the darned place!!!

should prove to be fun! xoxoxox

Current Mood:

chipper

Nov. 12th, 2004

05:07 pm - funny

read it cuz its friday and i laughed and i needed it...you will thank yourself cuz its funny and you probably need it too!

http://www.thestranger.com/current/feature3.html

02:22 pm

ok...remember how i said Mr. Belding was coming to SU. Guess who else is coming...Screech!! wtf is going on???

Nov. 11th, 2004

11:43 am

mr. belding is coming to our school. why, some comedy thing. and lil kim just came to our school too. why, because there is a class being taught about her here (Hip-Eshu: Queen B@#$h 101) and the meaning of her lyrics and blah blah. if i were an undergrad, thats what i would want to pay 35,000$$ a year for. go figure.

Current Mood:

indifferent

Current Music: smashing pumpkins - gish album

Nov. 10th, 2004

05:02 pm

i feel wierd here. keith went to seattle to do some work and hang out with his family. he will return the begining of december. so, its just me and cheshire...my cat. i dont have a problem being alone or living alone, and i can most certainly survive without a man. but all i want to do is stay home. i dont want to go to work/school, i dont want to hang out with anyone here. im not depressed i dont think. i just feel like i dont belong here. i dont really have any friends. there are people i talk to. but there is no one here that i cant wait to talk to if something fun happens. no one except keith. hes my only friend here. as a matter of fact, everytime one of my so called 'friends' from this cold place calls me i sigh before picking up the phone. like i dont want to talk to them. they are nice people, they just arent my friends. theres one girl i hang out with and shes 24 and married and a stay at home mom. we have absolutely nothing in common. i only hang out with her because keith is good friends with her husband. i like her, but i dont want to do anything with her. i do stuff when she asks me to, and i like her kids, but shes not my friend. i call her my friend. but she doesent feel like my friend. shes one of those people where everything was harder for her, shes always right, shes got to be better than you blah blah blah, i think you get my point. and its just irritating. and really im not ready for kids yet. im glad they are hers because they are annoying. and they are probably some of the best behaved kids in the world, theyre great!! and theres another girl who i sometimes hang out with, and she made me feel like i was in high school again. boys this boys that, blah blah blah, and to make things worse, shes a religious girl whos waiting...marriage, god whatever, but shes still a virgin. and she tells guys this (which she should) and then she wonders why they just want to be friends, or cheat on her or whatever. im not by any means saying that waiting is bad. but be for real...youre more than likely going to have to go through an amazing amount of men before you find 'the one' or the one that will stay with you for years and years before you sleep with him, or youre just going to have to find another super christian. so stop obsessing! there are others but theyre stories are less fun. i have no friends and i wish i was back at purchase or even t-town. i go shopping, by myself. i go for rides, by myself. i get coffee, by myself. ugh, now its depressing. it just gets harder making friends as time goes on. once your an adult your supposed to have your friend network already and just go about your life while people wash in and out of it, none of them really hanging around for a very long time or making an impact.

Current Mood:

lonely

02:13 pm - what to do!!!

alrightie. thanks guys for getting back to me about the hostels. Columbus studios seems like a dump. i havent found a good review yet. So it looks like i am going to book a room at Jazz on the Park. there were a few bad reveiws but more good ones. the location is 36th west 106th street at central park west. does this sound familiar to anyone? good area? bad area? will i get killed? ha! is it in Harlem? i know its close to a lot of subway stops and its way down on the bottom of the island. so we will see. its close to a bunch of museums too. will it take very long to get into the heart of the city? alright thats enough. thanks guys for helpin me out!! i really want to come visit!!!
xoxoxo

Current Mood:

excited

Nov. 9th, 2004

01:32 pm - visit this...

some mild amusement...
i guess it depends how bored you are...there are many many pages of this...
im still going...

http://72.3.131.10/gallery/1/

12:23 pm - a mini trip...

hello
sorry, ive been away for a while again. everything is great though. and i havent had a smoke in over 12 hours. yay!!! keith and i are doing well. my cat is big and my truck is still a super bitch, and it snowed today...nothing big, but it still snowed...
but i have a true purpose for writing in live journal at the moment.

keith and i would like to take a mini trip to the city in december. i want to see all the christmas city stuff and pretend i live there and see all my friends who i miss oh so much. since its not just me, and i dont want to do the crash thing i was looking at hostels, hotels are way too expensive. hostels arent over 100 bucks per night for the both of us for a private room. and im hoping not to be in the room very much anyway!!
here are the ones i was looking at. and i was wondering if any of my city dweller friends could suggest a good one for me. or maybe one thats in a good area.
* Bowery's Whitehouse Hotel of NY
* American Dream Hostel
* Sugar Hill International House
* Columbus Studios (i was thinking of this one the most!!)
* Jazz on the Park Hostel (this one too...!)

i was thinking of the weekend of december 10th. so if anyone has anything to say about these places or can recommend a better one let me know i plan to book soon!!!
xoxo - Thanks!!!

Current Mood:

giddy

Current Music: led zeppelin

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Sep. 28th, 2004

01:20 pm - sick...again...

waaazzz up yall?? yep, im sick again. it makes me think that i never got better from the first sickness in the first place. i took medicine and everything. i dont like taking prescriptions. so i dont usually do it. thatll be the last time i take anything the doctor orders for a while. ill stick to my otc methods.

well, i took the jeep to connecticut for a ride this weekend. it did well. no dying. so i was happy. although, the radio shorted out or something (like it has been doing) and on the 4-5 hour ride home i had to listen to myself think or listen to a portable cd player with headphones melissa let me borrow for the ride. i was laughing at myself!

today pissed me off. yesterday pissed me off too. but today i feel even shittier than yesterday. i get into work early, especially for some dna samples so i can take the spectra of them. but of course the dumb ass whos supposed to prepare them hasnt done it yet. so i wait until 12 oclock to get these samples. that means i will freeking be here forever! when i feel like shit. what, because i dont have a wife or kids or something its ok to keep me here till the fucking cows come home? do these people think i dont want to go home either? sometimes i just want to punch them!! anywho...so im running them...they arent working, just like the other 3 i did before.

i went to the vending machine today. i wanted some m&m's. the machine would not give me my chocolate. i was pissed. do you see why im pissed! ugh!!! the stockroom guy and i tried beating up the machine to give me my candy...it didnt work. so i had to buy two bags of m&m's just to get the one i paid for in the first place. i didnt want two. cuz now im going to eat two.

yesterday pissed me off cuz our fridge died. and i loooove to put stuff in the freezer and it was all defrosting!! i was like ooooh nooooo!!! so my landlord came over and we transfered all our freezer food to her extra big freezer in the basement of her house. its been quite a week already. and its only tuesday.

but dont get me wrong. im still a happy camper. sick, or not...stupid people or not...stupid machines or not, etc or not!!! im happy with the way things are going in my life. keith is still a cutie pie. he makes me very happy. you know what would make me the happiest in the world??? if the dna i am getting from this dumb ass would freeking fluoresce!! if i could only pee in it!!!

did you know...our bodies make its own morphine...its made in our nerve ending cells...woah!!

Current Mood:

shitty

Current Music: launchcast - my station!!

Sep. 17th, 2004

10:33 pm - happy today

im happy today. not that im not usually happy. im just genuinely happy. not the silly happy. the chill happy.
i have realized that nothing will make you happy but yourself. not that i didnt know that before, but sometimes you get lost...and need a reminder.

work/school sucks...and its not my fault...so i just roll with the flow...and try to figure out why the chemistry isnt working...every day not working. but i know thats what its all about. there will be 1000 sucky things at school for each good one. and if i let it eat at me i wont make any progress. and i definetly wont be happy. so i just think, fix, and be happy.

keith is a good man. i am happy with him. he tries so hard to make his business work. but if you have no money to start you cant make any money. so he helps people with their cars, to make some cash, and then tries to do work stuff with it. practice makes perfect. slow and steady wins the race. i want him to be happy. when he is sad im not as happy as i could be if he was happy. get what im saying. that vibe. if hes happy im happy. but if im happy and hes not then im not as happy. and i dont like that. i never want the people that i want to be happy, be sad.

and i got flowers today. ha. no not from keith. i would punch him if he spent his (my) money on flowers. one of our friends sells flowers and he stopped by to see if keith wanted a drink and brought flowers with him. they are mine!!

im just happy right now im listening to pink floyd its friday night and im not at school im here at home with my cat chesire and i love it. i took a bath. im hanging around in my pjs. i am relaxing.

Current Mood:

happy

Current Music: pink floyd - animals

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Sep. 12th, 2004

12:31 am - lazy saturday night...

today seemed like another weekday. i had to wake up at 7am so i could go to school and take a test. yes, on a saturday. they are these things called cummulative exams and ive got to pass 4 out of 8 to stay in the grad program. not bad...hoop # 2 out of 3 (4 if you count the dissertation). then i stayed at school to do some research, didnt get out till 7. oh well, i guess thats how it goes.

i find myself being very snappy lately. i get pissy at keith and get a tude. its like im only good for talking and helping him get his business up and running smoothly. tonight he said he wasnt going out, and then his buddy called him and said he was going to the bar. then keith decided he was going to the bar. umm ok...do i want to go...apparently not cuz i wasnt even asked. i know he needs to go do things with his friends and by himself and for himself. but it seems like we dont do much of anything together anymore. im gone all day almost every day and then i get home at night, try to cook something and then he leaves. i probably shouldnt be complaining. its really not bad i guess. hes still a terrific guy. its probably just stress from being absolutely broke and school and stuff. i havent had any money whatsoever in months. all i can do is pay my bills. i suppose i should be happy at this point that i can pay my bills, but its getting a bit redundant.

i saw the most heartfelt thing today on my way to school this morning. i was driving down the highway, and on one of those streets that go above the highway there was a sheet that said 'never forget 9/11/01 and there was a guy waving a flag to all the passing cars. i didnt know what to do. be silent in respect, beep in respect...so i waved and almost started crying. sounds cheesy...but thats just how i felt. it was cool to see that, this distance away from ground zero (i know im not that far, its the same state and everything) but it just reminds us that yes, the country can come together. its horrible that it takes that kind of tragety.

so...i havent been to the bar in a while. and i like it. keith got fired. we dont know why. no one will call him back and give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him what is up. they called him up on a friday and told him. like 5 hours before he wouldve had to be to work. nice people huh. but keith got one of his friends to investigate, and no one would tell her what the hell was going on either. word has it...they hired a big boobed brunette girl. i was like...ummm ok.now theres 3 girls there that cant make drinks. they are sooo losing their business!

anywho. thats about it...
oh... ANYBODY KNOW WHATS GOING ON WITH BILLS WEDDING???? i have yet to recieve an invitation and its less than a month away. i dont know where it is in rochester, i dont know when it is and i have no fucking clue whats going on. i also have another one of those tests mentioned earlier in the entry on that same day. i cant get out of it, or reschedule unless i have some proof. i am also not going to show up to a wedding that i havent recieved an invitation to! ugh!!! SOMEONE LET ME KNOW WHATS GOING ON!!

Current Mood:

cranky

Current Music: tonic...and whatever else comes on the random button

Aug. 21st, 2004

11:36 pm - its saturday night...

yeah baby. and right now beaners is having her birthday party in the city! im there in spirit, i swear! but in body, i am here at school. gotta get some stuff done. school starts officially in a week or so. im trying to take some time off next week, so i can have a mini vacation. i gotta put in the extra effort sometime. SO HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEANERS! XOXOXO

my jeep is overheating. i almost got stuck in the ghetto 'fabolous' south side tonight while driving to work. i swear if i bought a lemon im gonna go back to that guy and squeeze it all over him. what might 'it' be...everything i can possibly get my hands on. im one lucky b**ch that ive got a mechanic for a bf. i told keith about it, and hes gonna look at it tomorrow. even so, i dont have ANY money. none. whatsoever. i have 20 bucks maybe. but thats not money, thats, oh shit i have no money. and kurt, keep your mouth shut. im gonna fix it so its all better, i dont need mom to worry about me and you!! its bad enough both her kids are gonna be out of the house now! yep, my little bro is goin to college - good luck to you and be sure to call me if you need anything!!

yesterday was keiths birthday, hes 26 now. we had a party at our house with a bonfire and stuff. it was fun, but thats why i have no money. that was all he wanted for his birthday, so i bought food and beer and stuff. his friends came over, my friends came over, and he got really drunk. the house is a freekin mess cuz it started raining later in the night, and i wasnt able to clean it up today cuz we had another birthday party to attend. theres lotsa birthday parties this time of year...hmmm 9 months ago...december...good way to warm up! but keith got slobbering drunk. it was great, cuz he usually doesnt get to do that, weekends hes always working at the bar. so he went to the bathroom and puked, then dumped the cat box over (lucky, i had just emptied it earlier) and passed out in the kittie litter on the bathroom floor. im a good gf though, i put him in bed. unlike me, he wakes up in the morning good as new, ready to start a new day. me, ive stopped drinking. i had a celebratory jagger bomb, and jello shot. that was it, and i had a headache this morning. he said he had a blast, and so did i, so thats all that counts. we will get more money somehow to fix my truck, move forward with his restoration business, pay off my 400+ dollar credit card bill (kurt you dont say anything about that either), and so on. but this money thing. the bills thing, i can see why people get stressed out. im having trouble sleeping and am anxious and stuff cuz im afraid i wont have enough money to pay my bills. isnt that sad. you wake up every day, go to work, work your ass off and dont even have enough money to pay: rent, groceries, electricity, gas, car, insurance, phone, cable. most of these are necessities, nix cable and half the groceries or so. not to mention all those hidden things. parking passes, cigarettes, doctors bills, car repair, shoes, vending machines, bling bling. i guess ive just gotta be a bit more organized with my moolah. but enough of that depressing crapolah. im a happy camper, and thats all that counts

holla at cha gurl!

Current Mood:

anxious

Current Music: launch cast radio...on the web...no more cd repeats!

Aug. 9th, 2004

01:35 am - beep beep, who got da keys to the jeep??

VVROOM!! i do i do! yes i have finally purchased a 'new' vehicle. it is an 88 jeep cherokee. so no, its not new, but well worth it. keith and his brother, who is up from seattle, fixed and changed everything possible on the thing. so it purrs like a kitten. i spent 1500 bucks on it, and its got 4wd, and its from kentucky. that means...no salt in the winter! its black and a 5 speed woo hoo! for all a yall that rode in the bronco 2, it reminds me of that, and im soo happy. im going to register it and stuff on tuesday. now the only thing it needs is a radio, cuz there wasnt one, and its got ghetto tints. the tints are so old on the thing that they are purple, and i guess it was back when no one knew how to do tints, cuz theres nasty lookin bubbles. yucky! definetly gonna change those. anywho, now im gonna be pimpin with a capital P-I-M-P! yeah, whatever

other than that, everything is the same. im trying to lose some weight before bills wedding, cuz i happened to put on a few pounds. nothing that i havent weighed before, or my purchase peeps havent seen me at, but a little uncomfortable for me. so i figure, bills wedding is a good time goal. i just havent done anything about it. i hate gyms, but i guess im going to have to go to one. that seems to be the way people do it. or i could just eat subway for the rest of my life. im not into this no carb/low carb thing. maybe it works, but i think i would go absolutely insane if i couldnt have potatoes. im going to try to eat healthier, and stay active. its just sooo hard when the wurring of the vending machines haunts you every time you walk down the hallway at work...mmmm...chocolate! so if anyones got any advice...HOLLA AT CHA GIRL!

but now its way past bedtime...im going to go and have jeep dreams. keiths out at the bar....sleep, here i come!!
xo-

Current Mood:

excited

Current Music: none...

Aug. 5th, 2004

03:42 pm - another day

at work/school again. its good stuff. im making more caffeine, i only wish that i could eat it when i was done with it. i get soooo sleepy sometimes. i wonder if ive ingested so much caffeine, (in the form of coffee of course) that it is having the opposite effect on me.

ive been busy lately. keiths brother, kevin, and father are visiting from Seattle. theyre great people, and really fun. sooo, we are constantly doing something. i get home from work and we go to the bar, or the store, or make an awesome dinner. its exhausting to entertain!

really though, nothing interesting has been happeneing in my life that is worthy of live journal. unless you all want to hear about how i convinced my boss to buy new pipetors, (at $150 or so each!) and how i think im going to get paid less next year than i did last year. its not a huge deal, cuz right now im doing alright, and we always get paid the least in the summer. but its sooo hard to upgrade. ive still got the pickle, and its 11 years old, 2 wheel drive, and practically deadly in the winter. im trying to get a new car, but i dont make enough money, and ive never got a loan before (school loans dont count) so my apr is gonna be through the roof. why do they make it soooo hard for us younger generation to get started? im trying to be on my own, ya know, like a real grown up. i dont want to ask my 'mommy' to help me buy a car. i cant save money in the summer because i barely make enough to pay my bills. let me tell you, im lucky the cost of living is so low up here or else i would be up shits creek without a paddle!

anywho. its august, and summer is almost over. school is going to start again, but i dont have to take classes thank god. i have to teach and do research. ill audit classes im sure, there is always plenty to learn, but no more grades that i hate that i worked my ass off for!!

i guess i will get back to looking like im busy. technically i cant do anything until tomorrow, so i guess i will read!
peace out!

Current Mood:

bored

Current Music: what do you think!! what is the only cd i have at school!!!

Jul. 29th, 2004

08:30 pm - yet again...

i have been quite bored here at work/school. yes, im doing research and taking my spectra, but one of them takes 20 min. and thats not enough time to do anything else except constantly check my email, LJ, and see whos online. none of them have proved to be amusing. yet again i am listening to the roots-the tipping point because its the only cd i have at school, and i keep forgeting to bring different ones. since we are on the subject of yet again and forgetting, i again forgot my lunch. every day this week i have forgotten my lunch. i am just not used to bringing it. one would think lunch is important, but i guess my subconsious disagrees. one would also think that since i keep forgetting my lunch i would be losing weight, but on the contrary. my body has decided to 'shut down' because it thinks im never going to eat again. i tell it over and over, "no, keep working, burn off that extra fat" but it still screeches to a halt. anywho, im sick of being here, ive been here since 930. dont get me wrong, i love my work, but...can i go home please!! i was planning on going home earlier than this because keith and i and some other peeps are going down to Hooligans for an outside concerty thingie and drink some. even though i dont really drink anymore a bit here and there but Ralphina has taken over.
well i will go now and hopefully this has killed 20 minutes...we will see...it better have because im just gonna go stand over the instrument...you know what they say...a watched pot never boils.
i think im becoming dillusional!
love you all

Current Mood:

drained

Current Music: the roots...again

Jul. 26th, 2004

04:28 pm - a brand new week...

this weekend happened to be the bomb. keith and i went to harbor fest up in oswego this saturday. lotsa boats, water, bands, crap to buy, food, beer, beer, beer. it was super awesome and free to get in. you dont even have to spend any money if you dont want to. of course i did cuz i wanted to. then sat night keith had to work, so i went and hung out at the bar with my girlie bar friends. the most fun i had was attempting to get the many cherries out of my diet coke with a straw. it took like a half hour! but my friends are cool there, i just wasnt in the mood, i had a long day, and an even longer week. EXHAUSTING!!
sunday i woke up and did 23$$ worth of laundry: in case you were wondering, that consists of 2 triple washers, 2 double washers and 2 regular washers. it also includes 7 dryers...absolutely insane. i was at the laundromat for 2 and a half hrs. i wanted to scream. but now we have clean clothes. there was this white trash lady there with her two kids, a 7 yr old girl and 5 yr old boy or so. all she did was constantly scream at her children...get off there, sit down i didnt tell you to get up...etc. use your immagination. constantly. i wanted to go over to her and tell her that i didnt want to hear it and to please torchure your children at home. i dont understand how people can do that to their kids. it made me so angry, she was lucky i was almost done with my laundry. poor kids, they have very little hope in advancing past their mother parenting wise.
but after the laundry keith and i went to sylvan beach. we hung out on the beach, went for walks, and then went to visit our friends megan and jeff at this bar/food place Harpoon Eddies. that was fun. and then we went and played in the little carnival area. we played video games and got our fortunes told by a mechanical grandma that breathed.

yeah, now im at school and having a grand ol time doing research and getting results finally.
this summer rules. yall should come visit. cant wait to see yall in oct!!
love you

Current Mood:

nerdy

Current Music: the roots...the only cd i have at school